Listen to the signals

 It was a Saturday morning, sometime in Feb. I woke up a little late around 7 AM, had my usual cup of chai, read a few pages in a book, and did a quick 30-min Yoga practice. I started to feel breathless and could feel my heart beating faster. I didn't do any intense asanas or fast-paced movements. 

As the days passed by, my breathlessness was getting worse. I was gasping while chanting my evening prayers of Kanda Sashti Kavacham. My energy levels had dropped drastically. I was feeling dizzy and felt the need to sit or lie down more often.

One evening, I was lying on the sofa. D asked me to make a glass of lemonade for her. I told her, "I'm very tired. Can you make it yourself?".

That's when it hit me. I never refuse her requests or demands for homemade food or drinks. "This isn't me, something doesn't feel right", my intuition warned me.

While discussing with K, he suggested, "Let's get your health checkup done. It's been over a year".

I got all the tests done, met with a cardiologist, and ruled out heart-related issues. The reports indicated that Vitamin D3, B12, and Haemoglobin levels were very low. I started taking allopathic supplements for a couple of weeks, but the symptoms of extreme tiredness and breathlessness persisted. 

My gut instinct suggested that these deficiencies couldn't be the only reason behind these symptoms.

Met with an Ayurvedic doctor. After a long conversation with her, she recommended that certain imbalances were to be corrected and the issues were more to do with the mind than the body. Some of her suggestions are to consciously practice detachment, slow down, avoid overthinking, let go and relax.

The body expresses what the mind suppresses.

I've been on Ayurvedic meds for the past month and am slowly gaining back my energy.

Ladies who are reading this, a gentle reminder!

When we juggle multiple responsibilities, there are high chances we might go into auto-pilot mode and reduce our efforts towards self-care, despite having the right knowledge. Do listen to the needs of your body and your mind. You would certainly know them without much effort. All we need is a little awareness.

Awareness will eventually lead us to take the right action.

Labour laws and family structure

 

A pic of my home and a glimpse of my childhood in the late 80s.

Mom would leave for work around 8:30 AM and return home by 5:30 PM. She was working as a teacher.

Dad would leave for work around 8:45 AM and return home by 9:30 PM. He was working in the private sector.

My paternal grandma took over the complete responsibility of the house - cooking, cleaning, taking care of us and disciplining us.

My maternal grandparents' house was next door and we would spend most of our time there. Grandpa would have a strict eye on us and catch us red-handed when we were up to some mischief.

My aunt (mom's sister) helped us with school homework.

My aunt and maternal grandma would take turns, plaiting my long hair in the morning rush hours before school.

All of them took turns in dropping and picking us up from school when we were very young.

My paternal grandma would make evening snacks for us when we return from school.

The old saying goes - It takes a village to raise a child.

Having grown up with extended family members, I have observed how everyone took charge of various responsibilities. Since the workload was shared, this gave my parents ample time, bandwidth and most importantly, mental space toward their work commitments.

Many of us born in the 70s/80s would have gone through a similar upbringing.

Fast forward, 40 years.......The village is no longer available, due to shifts in societal norms - moving to different cities/countries, nuclear families, health issues of extended family members and a general lack of willingness to participate in sharing the workload.

As a result, it is now completely up to the parents to manage ALL responsibilities at home between the two of them. Help can be sought externally, but is it possible to outsource the majority of responsibilities? Not practical. Not financially viable either.

There are still exceptions, but most people I talk to are in a similar situation.

The trigger for this post is the latest news regarding the 12-hour work shift that is being implemented in manufacturing units in TN and the comments/posts circulating on how this would impact the workers.

Irrespective of the nature of the job, work demands have gone up over the past couple of decades, speaking from my experience in the IT industry.

The changes in family structure and increased responsibilities play a major role in whether such high work demands can be met reasonably well (without disrupting our well-being and sanity). 

The needs of children keep evolving at every stage of their growth. They look up to their parents at all stages for their cognitive, social, mental, emotional and nutritional needs.

These factors need to be considered when reframing labor laws or defining corporate policies and employee benefits, irrespective of the industry.

A recent report indicates that Indian women are facing a higher burnout rate as compared to their global peers. In my opinion, the spouse sharing home responsibilities isn't sufficient enough to solve this issue.

It requires holistic evaluation of the challenges at multiple levels -

rethinking work demands and job design from the ground up,

measuring work outcomes instead of work hours clocked in the office,

extending maternity benefits beyond 6 months through flexibility, remote work, hybrid work, and project-based outcomes.

The pandemic forced organizations to rethink the working models, but it now seems that prioritizing "what is easy" over "what is right" has taken precedence yet again.

A reader's journey

 "What you missed in your childhood is what you seek in your adulthood" - I don't know the source of this quote, but it pretty much sums up my relationship with books.

Growing up, apart from textbooks, I never read any story books or comics. Amma had bought a few GK and Quiz books that helped me in elocution, essay writing, and quiz competitions in school.

For some reason, there was always a yearning for books. I'd pester Appa to take me to the "Chennai book fair" that used to happen every Jan. He took me once and I was clueless about what to buy. Though I didn't burn a hole in his pocket, he wasn't happy about the trip. The next year, he got irritated when I brought up this topic.

I joined my first job in 2002. A small book fair was conducted at my office premises. I bought APJ Abdul Kalam's Wings of Fire, my first book purchase. Since then, slowly and steadily, the collection of books in my home library increased.

I remember taking a solo trip from BTM to Palace Grounds in 2003 to visit a book fair. No Google Maps or Ola/Uber back then. I had to figure the bus route by switching 2-3 buses in a new city. It felt adventurous and fun!

I bought my first bookshelf in 2005. And it still holds steady with books stuffed to the brim on all 6 shelves. 2 more bookshelves got added, and books started to spill over to my work desk.

K gifted me a Kindle in 2016. More books added to my digital library - some read, some unread.

Kindle Unlimited (KU) subscription is going strong for years. Though I don't use it much these days, D devours all Amar Chitra Katha and Tinkle comics.

In the last 2 decades ever since Wings of Fire arrived, my interest in genres kept changing from self-help, productivity, biography, business, marketing, nutrition, wellness, and behavioral psychology to philosophy and spirituality in my early 40s.

Whenever I visit a bookstore, I feel like a child in a candy store.

D and K make fun of me,

"That's it...she will be here for the whole afternoon. We should go and grab some snacks nearby"

"We need to hire a lorry for this mummy"

A few weeks back, I made a list of expenses I avoid compared to others leading an urban lifestyle. It was quite a long list.

But the one investment (not an expense) I make consciously is towards books as I believe they have been life-changing.

On the occasion of #worldbookday, this is my journey with books as a reader. Someday, I wish to experience the other side of being an author! *Fingers crossed*

Our food choices and beliefs we pass onto our children

Neither - might be our ideal answer. But there could be situations where we end up making a choice when we are going out.

When we have to decide between the two, we mostly end up choosing the second option. This is a pattern that I'm noticing over the past few years, especially since 2020. I have made similar decisions as well.

The reasons:

1. It is made in the open. Not hygienic at all. Packaged is more hygienic (Fresh juices vs tetra-pack)
2. These shops use ingredients of poor quality. Better to buy packaged (Hot chips shops vs Lays chips)
3. We don't know what ingredients are being used in bakeries. In packaged cakes, we at least know the ingredients. (Cake slices vs Brittania cakes)
4. These foods contain germs. Packaged foods don't. (ice gola vs frozen popsicles)

Most of the time, these decisions are being made in front of our kids for one of the above reasons. And we perpetuate our beliefs onto them.

Our rationale for choices is based on our beliefs. Are we 100% sure about them? Have we questioned them anytime?

Did we ever visit factories of packaged food manufacturers to conclude that they use better quality ingredients or that they are made in a hygienic environment?

Did we ever carry around a microscope to conclude that foods/drinks made in the open contain germs?

Is it because our fear of the known (germs) is higher than our fear of the unknown (effects of artificial ingredients)?

Is it because the ill effects are immediate if our choices go wrong (food poisoning on the very same day vs slow poisoning over months/years)?

Let's question our beliefs before we pass them down to our kids, as these will have health and socio-economic implications in the future.

What's the source of your thought?

 Conversation on a Saturday morning:

D: "Mommy, do you know we don't have one thought? We get 3 thoughts"

Me: "I don't understand. How?"

D: "See, let me give you an example.

The first thought can be - I want to bake a cake.

The second thought can be - I don't have all the ingredients.

The third thought can be - I will not bake today. Maybe some other day when I have the ingredients.

That's why in English we say sometimes - I have second thoughts about this"

Me: "Woah, that's very true. How did you come up with this?"

D: "I don't know...I just thought about it. Or maybe, you injected your philosophy serum into me!"🙂

D reads a lot of Amar Chitra Katha and mythology stories, while I read philosophy and spirituality-related books. We keep discussing "thathuvams" or "stories with thathuvams" often (thathuvam - thought with a deeper meaning).

As I started ruminating about her 3-thought perspective, a new insight emerged.

Our logical and analytical side of the brain creates second and third thoughts, based on available information. In many situations, this deeper analysis is very much needed for self-protection, moderation, control, and exercise of our free will.

Those situations where our instinct might drive us towards temptations and desires that we might regret later.

For eg,

My first thought - "I see a box of Dharwad Peda in a supermarket and I feel tempted to buy it".

Second thought - "I've had a lot of sweets the previous week"

Third thought - "I'll buy this box 2 weeks from now"

But there are also times when this can get to the other extreme, where we end up over-analyzing each thought that comes up and we draw up spreadsheets in our minds (and on our devices) to weigh the pros and cons.

The trigger for the first thought could be purely intuition or a message from a higher power. And there are chances that we might choose to ignore the message because of our overthinking and analysis.

For eg, you experience a thought.

Your first thought - "I feel like writing an article on foods and their role in spirituality"

Second thought - "Who would even pay attention to it? And am I qualified to write about this topic? What if some criticism comes my way?"

Third thought - "Edhukku vambu! let me keep quiet"

The trigger is gone. Maybe, the trigger might traverse the Universal energy and find another person (say, XYZ) who might respond to it.

XYZ's first thought - "I feel like writing an article on foods and their role in spirituality"

XYZ responds to it immediately without second thoughts.

XYZ writes the article and publishes it. It resonates with at least one person (say, ABC).

ABC starts making changes to her food habits.

ABC feels the difference and shares her experience with her friends and family.

The origin of a thought - Is it from our instinct? Is it from our intuition? Identifying the origin or the source - that's the key.