Junk food for the mind

 

How to identify what is junk for the mind?

First, let's think through the properties of junk food for the body:

• It is addictive
• It creates cravings
• Junk food can masquerade as healthy by making use of popular health terms and via influencers and celebrities
• It appeals to one or more of our senses - tasty, looks appetizing, has a crunch, feels pleasant to nibble
• It offers convenience
• It creates a state of aspiration
• It is made with multiple ingredients, many of which we are not sure about
• We have very little clue over how it is getting digested within our system
• We have no idea how the different constituents present in multiple junk foods interact within our system
• The consequences of consuming junk food are experienced in the long run
• It manipulates the functioning of our internal organs (some even at a DNA level)
• It has a longer shelf life
• It is cheap

Junk food for our mind has similar properties:

• Addictive inputs accessed through social media and OTT platforms. Not all content is addictive but there are certain content within such platforms that are intentionally made addictive and we end up sacrificing our time, attention, relationships, and our sleep!

• Certain digital apps and platforms create cravings in the form of FOMO, instant gratification, doomscrolling, variable rewards, and social approval

• A platform might be a generic tool but the way it can be used is up to us. It can be through healthy behaviors (understanding the WHY behind our actions, scheduled times, controlled exposure, etc) OR not-so-healthy behaviors (being available on all platforms at all times, allowing full access to our attention and time)

• Platforms that encourage vanity metrics (likes, followers, tags, subscriber count) create a sense of aspiration. Many of us associate our self-worth with the growth in these metrics. If these metrics fall or remain stagnant, we feel rejected

• Movies and series these days state the type of content upfront. It is up to us to decide whether our mind is ready to digest such content (gory, violent, explicit, substance use, etc) before we decide to consume them. Our age is not the right benchmark. Our mental capacity and sensitivity are only known to us. For eg, horror movies affect sleep for some people whereas, for others, they might still get a sound sleep after watching it.

• Many inputs we take in today get disguised in the name of "expert" perspectives, some of which are impractical and unique to individual's lives provided certain conditions are met. For eg, homeschooling is NOT for every family. If we constantly keep consuming content related to this topic and we aren't able to adopt it as a practice, it creates a sense of frustration and resentment towards ourselves and others.

• Information is easily accessible and cheap these days. It is just a click away but it can easily lead to a sense of overwhelm, especially if we try to load our minds constantly with more and more inputs.

As per our traditional wisdom, there are six teachers of the mind in the material world:

Desire (kama),

Aggression, anger (krodha),

Greed (lobha),

Infatuation (moha),

Arrogance, being egoistical (mada),

Envy, comparison, jealousy (matsarya)

It is worth examining if any of the inputs that we consume regularly increases these qualities in us.

Vibrations of self-love

 Everything we put out in the world is a form of energy. Our actions, behaviors, reactions, words, and even our thoughts send out a certain vibration. Thoughts we think about others, thoughts we think about ourselves.

Before we look into the vibrations we send out to others, let's first observe the vibrations that are triggered by our thoughts.

What is the tone of conversations you have with yourself?

"I should go to the gym today"

"I should not waste my time on my phone"

"I can't eat pizza because I should reduce my weight"

When your thoughts and actions are not in sync, how do you converse with yourself?

"I'm a loser"

"I can never do this"

"I'm a failure"

"Why is it so hard for me to eat healthy?"

"Why can't I be like <<insert the name of that person whom you want to emulate>>?"

The vibrations from such self-deprecating comments and questions are bringing down our energy every single day.

Social media is a glittering screen of inspirations and possibilities, curated through veils of biases, expectations, and ego-nurturing ambitions.

How we interpret it and make sense for ourselves is completely up to us.

We can either take inspiration and customize our actions to suit our lifestyle and personality OR we can feel defeated and get into the loop of guilt and shame.

The SHOULDs and CAN'Ts in our self-talk are filled with low vibrations. Let's change the tone to

"I'm a healthy person"

"I want to be healthy"

"I prioritize my well-being"

"I'm inspired by <<x, y, z>> but I celebrate being me"

We offer more positivity and encouragement to our near and dear ones, whereas we are more critical, harsh, and judgmental of ourselves. Self-love begins with creating that space of higher vibrations within oneself. This space then helps us to respond to external situations calmly.

Information Consumption based on our values

 Will consuming information and knowledge make an impact on our behaviors?

Will the right information motivate us to make changes in our lives?

Will information alone suffice or is something more required to sustain behavior change?

As someone who loves to learn about different aspects of health, I strongly believe in the power of information and knowledge gleaned from multiple sources.

When I started researching about artificial ingredients that are added to packaged foods, the information I came across was convincing enough for me to make changes to my food preferences. Over time, the changes and habits have become ingrained and I'm no longer tempted by a pack of chips or cookies.

When I read about how technology players are exploiting psychological vulnerabilities and our inherent biases to get us hooked on social media and other platforms, it made it easier to consciously reduce my attention and time spent on digital platforms.

I'm currently reading this fantastic book "Why We Sleep" and I'm learning how the different stages of sleep are equally important and how various factors such as blue light, alcohol, caffeine, and alarm clocks/snooze buttons impact our sleep. The knowledge gained through this one single book is sufficient enough for anyone to make sleep an absolute priority. It pushes me to focus on getting a good night's sleep and make changes to my evening routine that hinders sleep. Though I have been prioritizing sleep for the last few years, there were many factors that I didn't know about.

Continuous Learning => Information and knowledge => New ideas and Changes in perspectives => Behavior change

Underlying this chain reaction is the bedrock of our values. In an earlier post, I had written about good health as one of my top values.

If our values are aligned with our learning, then behavior change is imminent with new information.

But if we are learning about a topic that isn't connected to our values, then it is quite likely that we wouldn't be motivated to make any changes.

Get a clear understanding of your values. The rest will fall in place automatically.

Prioritizing Flexibility

 

There are different facets of self-care. As we grow older, a certain facet takes precedence over others due to life circumstances, new roles, and responsibilities.

For eg,

When you are dealing with a certain lifestyle disorder, taking care of your nutritional requirements becomes a priority.

When you have transitioned to the role of a new parent, getting a few hours of sleep whenever possible becomes a priority.

When you are going through a difficult situation in life, getting a few minutes to take deep breaths and ground yourself becomes a priority.

As I thought about my current priority when it comes to self-care, the word that struck me is FLEXIBILITY. 

Being in my early 40s, flexibility is what I intend to prioritize from a self-care point of view. To be specific, flexibility across four different aspects of life.

Flexibility of body

Due to poor lifestyle choices in my 20s, my body had become extremely tight and stiff. Thanks to Yoga asana practices, I slowly regained my flexibility in my 30s. It is easy to lose flexibility within a few days of being sedentary. I could feel the tightness in my hamstrings, hip muscles and shoulders if I skip Yoga practice for a week. A rigid body becomes the source of unexplained aches and pains. It affects our mobility and our ability to do physical actions. Tasks as simple as sitting down on the floor and getting up becomes a huge challenge.

Flexibility of mind

The famous quote - "Old habits die hard" is not just applicable to physical habits, but also to our repeated mental patterns, conditioning and beliefs. If we don't become aware of them in our 40s, then the conditioning gets hardwired and becomes even more difficult to change in our later years. Becoming aware, questioning and reframing our patterns and beliefs requires one to adopt a flexible mindset. The more rigid we are, the more challenging it becomes not only for ourselves but also for our family members.

Flexibility of time and schedule

In my 20s, it was easier to leave for the office at 8:30 AM and return by 7-8 PM. This was made possible due to fewer responsibilities, a lack of awareness to prioritize self-care, and being oblivious to the repercussions of poor lifestyle choices. When multiple "care" items get added to your to-do list (childcare, elderly care, self-care, pet care, home care etc), a flexible schedule is a MUST to fulfill all responsibilities in good measure. Life becomes quite imbalanced when there is a long, fixed work schedule. Every little time that gets wasted creates more frustration, as the same time can be put to better use in other aspects of life.

Flexibility of strategies to meet my needs

This is a concept I learned in a course on non-violent communication (NVC). Many times, we get so fixated on specific strategies to meet our needs. For eg, the need for contribution can be met in multiple ways but we end up getting fixated on one. For eg, we expect our jobs to allow us to contribute meaningfully to the world, but due to various reasons, that may or may not happen. If a strategy for a specific need isn't working, we should be flexible enough to find alternate strategies to meet our needs.

Does flexibility resonate with you as a facet of self-care that you'd like to prioritize?

The "whatever" attitude

 As a mother of a tween girl, I'm being introduced to new-age vocabulary these days. New words, new phrases, new reactions, and whatnot!

Two words that D uses often are "whatever" and "doesn't matter".

Sometimes in the middle of a serious conversation, she would give an "I don't care" reaction with one of these two words. While it is funny mostly, it does get irritating at times. On one such occasion last weekend when she used "whatever", I asked her, "Why do you like this word so much?"

She replied, "Mummy, this word is so powerful. Let's say, a problem comes. If you are not scared and you say "whatever" to it, the problem will feel roasted and run away".

I was taken aback as it was that thathuvam (philosophy) moment that often happens at our home!🙂

Isn't this "whatever" attitude in a way helping to cultivate a mindset of equanimity - a state where we swing to neither extremes of becoming jubilant when something good happens or depressed when something bad happens?

This attitude is also helpful when we get unexpected reactions from others or unexpected situations to handle, without dwelling too much over it.

Our children can offer unique perspectives that we may not have thought of. As long as we keep the channel of communication open with them without forcing our own beliefs, we might end up getting the insights we most needed to hear.

In another context, I got roasted yesterday while having a cup of coffee in the afternoon, after giving a lecture to K in the morning about how caffeine interrupts sleep😉 Lecture inspired by the current read - "Why We Sleep" by Mathew Walker. K and D are always subjected to little summaries from the books I read - stories, insights, thathuvams, quotes, etc. They would remember them vividly and give it back at the right moment if I deviate from what I say!🙂

P.S. "Roasted" is yet another tween word, used in the context of the feeling when you intend to make fun of someone but he/she ends up making fun of you.