Patriarchy's influence in food choices

A few days back, I heard this statement from a family member - "cucumber vaangaradhu illa, avarakku pidikaadhu. pagarkkai, kovakkai sugar ku nalladhunu solraa, aana avarakku indha kai ellam pidikkaadhu. adhanala vaangaradhilla" ("I don't buy cucumber because he(husband) doesn't like it. I have heard that bittergourd, ivygourd are good for controlling sugar but since he doesn't like it, I don't buy it").

Both of them have diabetes and high blood pressure, but she does not/cannot make any lifestyle changes JUST BECAUSE her husband is not onboard. 

Women play such a significant role in a family. When we lead by example, family members follow. In some families, it might take time but sooner or later, they will be ready to embrace change. There is no need to nag or shout from the top of our lungs. Our actions would speak for themselves, our habits would influence/inspire others in our family, especially the husband and children. Elders in the family may or may not be willing to change as they have been stuck with old habits for long.

My husband K used to eat quite a bit of junk (chocolates, tetrapack juices, icecreams, aerated drinks etc). But ever since I stopped eating junk foods, he has come onboard with me and has made remarkable progress with his food habits in the past 3 years. He used to hate salads but now he doesn't mind eating a small bowl. His overall portion sizes have reduced. He has started eating all vegetables without a fuss. Yes, there are a few veggies he is not too fond of - bottlegourd and cabbage being on top of the list. Yet, I make them once in 2 weeks and he eats without throwing a tantrum :-) He loves paneer whereas my daughter and I are not too fond of it. So I cook a dish with paneer once a week and whenever we go out to a restaurant, we always order a paneer dish.

I understand it is time consuming to cook different dishes for a small family. But why should the man's preferences dictate the family menu ALL THE TIME? Why can't the man compromise on a few meals when wife's favorite dishes or healthy-dishes-for-the-whole-family are prepared? 

What are the repercussions when the family menu is decided based ONLY on the man's preferences?

1. If the man hates certain veggies, they will never be cooked. The family members will never get the nutrients from those veggies.
2. This habit affects the kinds of foods that children in the family are exposed to. If the man(father) hates bittergourd, the children in the family would have never tasted it, while growing up. Their taste preferences would become molded, just like that of their father.
3. The woman totally loses touch with the taste of the foods she used to like, just because her husband doesn't like the same.

I'm not implying that this trend is happening across all Indian families. I'm sure there are men who have a deep interest in food, cooking and nutrition. But they are far and few exceptions as of today. I sincerely hope that we see a positive shift in our next generation, where everyone in the family understands food - where it comes from, how it is being prepared, how to plan wholesome meals, which nutrients are present in which foods etc.

Do share in the comments below if this article resonates with your family. How do you manage the influence of patriarchy in food choices?

10 more habits to keep PCOD under control

I had shared a personal "10 year health transformation" journey post on Instagram yesterday, primarily focusing on how I'm managing PCOD. I had asked women facing PCOD issues to reach out to me if they have any questions or would like to share their concerns. What I didn't expect was the number of messages I would end up receiving. Within a span of 12 hours, I received around 35 DMs from women in their 20s and 30s. PCOS/PCOD is affecting many women in India and the number keeps growing at an alarming rate.

I had written this article "10 habits to keep PCOD under control" in Jan 2016. Since it is close to 4 years now, I wanted to write a follow up post, addressing a few more habits that have helped me in keeping PCOD in check.

Disclaimer:  I'm neither a gynecologist nor a dietitian. This is purely based on my experience. Do consult your doctor if you are making any major changes.

1.Adopt the right mindset

We generally tend to ignore irregular periods and other related symptoms UNTIL the time we are getting married or ready to start a family. I made the same mistake too. PCOD affects our health in many ways - weight gain, hair fall, hair growth on face (hirsutism), acne, extreme mood swings and much more. If left unattended, it leads to insulin resistance, diabetes, obesity and other metabolic disorders. So it is imperative we address PCOD at a young age (in your late teens or early 20s). Most gynecs wouldn't recommend any lifestyle changes unless you are trying to conceive (TTC). They might prescribe hormone tablets/contraceptive pills to regulate periods but these tend to have a lot of side effects. Let's adopt the right mindset - we are going to address PCOD for the sake of our own good health, not just for getting a baby. And yes, all these habits are equally important after delivering a baby as well.

2.Address stress inducing situations/people

Women of today carry so much of mental load and pressure on ourselves. Studies, work pressure, commute, household responsibilities, career goals and what not. Responsibilities are only piling up as we grow older. On top of that, if we are married and have difficulty in conceiving, the society (including close family members and relatives) makes a mockery out of our situation instead of offering genuine help. Be conscious of situations and people who stress you out. Stay away from them as much as possible. Identify ways that help you reduce stress - cooking, cleaning, reading, listening to music, meditation, going for long walks, spending time amidst nature, gardening - whatever works for you. And please let's not use junk foods/icecreams/chocolates/tea/coffee as ways to combat stress. Speaking from experience, these might give only a temporary relief to take our mind out of stressful situation but comes loaded with side effects.

3.Eat only when hungry

In my earlier post on PCOD, I had mentioned "Never skip breakfast" but I have learned from experience in the past couple of years that it is okay to skip or delay breakfast until we feel hungry. Wrote a detailed post on the same topic. Do check it out if you haven't seen it yet. Also, avoid mindless grazing - processing something in your mind and munching on something, watching TV and eating snacks. Plan for 2-3 wholesome meals. If feeling hungry mid-morning / evening, have a small handful of nuts or fruits.

4.Be mindful of portion size

If your capacity is to eat 4 idlis/3 chapathis, don't load your plate with this fixed quantity by default every time. Take it slow - serve yourself 2 idlis with a bowl of sambhar/chutney. Finish your plate fully and if you are still hungry, take one piece at a time. For rice, serve a small ladle of rice, adequate portion of veggies, dal/sambhar, salad etc. Finish the plate fully and then decide if you need more rice. That way, your appetite is filled by a wholesome meal and you don't load up on rice/rotis.

5.Include bitter and astringent tasting foods more regularly

This is something I have been doing consciously in the past few years. In Tamil, these two tastes are called kasappu and thuvarppu respectively. Our previous generation completely ignored these two tastes and focused more on sweet, sour, spicy and salty foods. The bitter and astringent tasting foods are so beneficial not only for PCOD but also for managing diabetes, hypertension, cholesterol etc.

Bitter tasting foods - bittergourd, methi seeds, curry leaves, turkey berries (sundakkai), dry wonder berries (manathakkali), dry neem flowers

Astringent tasting foods - banana flower, banana stem, pomegranate, Indian gooseberry (amla/nellikkai), brinjal, dry figs

Plan your meals in such a way that foods rich in these two tastes feature more regularly.

6.Limit dairy intake

The commercial dairy products we get these days are loaded with growth hormones, antibiotics and other unwanted stuff. Though I haven't stopped completely, my dairy intake has reduced considerably. My body isn't able to digest heavy dairy products like paneer, cheese etc. Except for my tea and a small bowl of curd, I don't consume milk or any other dairy products. You could try limiting or stopping dairy for a week and you will notice the difference.

7.Limit wheat intake if you are a South Indian

This is another change I have made in the past few years and I can vouch for its positive outcomes. Similar to dairy, you could try stopping wheat for a week and you'll notice the amazing difference - less bloating, no acidity, light stomach. And the idea that wheat is better than rice (promoted by packaged atta makers, sometimes recommended by doctors/diabetic centres) is totally incorrect. Check out my earlier post for more details.

8.Finish dinner early

For women with PCOD, the most common problem is weight gain around belly. One of the ways to manage this problem is to ensure that you finish dinner by 7:30PM and not eat anything post dinner. It gives your body ample time to digest before you go to sleep. Undigested food in the stomach leads to disturbed sleep. Lack of good quality sleep disrupts your hormones, leading to more complications.

9.Be active throughout the day

Most of us have become conscious of the fact that exercise is important. But the mistake we do (including yours truly) is that we finish one hour of exercise in the morning and we don't move much the rest of the day. Taking stairs, walking to buy veggies/groceries (instead of online orders), participating in activities that involve physical work (gardening, cleaning, cooking) etc are some of the ways by which we can stay active. I have observed that on days when I'm physically active throughout, I sleep better, whereas my sleep gets disturbed on days when I'm sedentary.

10.Say no to plastic

Plastic (irrespective of BPA free, food grade or any other fancy terms) is not suited for food consumption. It leeches harmful chemicals that disrupts our hormones. Earlier, I used to drink water from plastic bottles, use melamine plates, reheat food in microwave oven using plastic bowls etc. I have put a complete stop to all that. Water in steel bottle, ceramic/steel plates for serving food, ceramic plate/bowl for occasional reheating in MW oven. Stopped teflon coated nonstick pans. Switched to iron kadai/tawa.

Last but not the least, a question that I'm sure I would be asked - What about Keto? 

Personally, I don't believe in restrictive diets. I don't go overboard on "carbs". I eat millets/handpounded rice/red rice etc but am mindful of my portion size. Balanced, wholesome, homecooked meals work for me. Choose what works for you. If you don't miss "carbs", then eat homecooked meals with more veggies and healthy fats. Avoid packaged keto junk, it is becoming a big thing these days. Read the ingredients and understand what you are putting in your body.

Hope these pointers are helpful in managing PCOD. Do write in the comments below if you have any further questions.

Experience of a live AR Rahman concert

 

I had checked off one of the items from my bucket list in Aug. Such an important thing, yet it has taken me nearly 2 months to record my experience here on my blog. Better late than never!!

Long time readers of my blog might know how madly I'm in love with AR Rahman's music. His music came into my ears on the most tragic day of my life. Till date, I'm not able to listen to Kaadhal Rojave without a tear lingering in the corner of my eyes. Apart from that one sad emotion, his music has brought in so much happiness and memories to cherish, right from childhood. Every album of his has a memory, a feeling that takes you back to the simpler times of 90s. When I started earning (back in 2002), one of my dreams was to experience a live ARR concert. Now seriously I don't know why it took me 17 years to make my dream come true.

I accidentally stumbled upon the details of his concert to be held in Chennai on Aug 10th. Though my daughter loves music, she doesn't like loud sounds or crowded places. I knew if I decided to go as a family, it would inconvenience her and I wouldn't be able to enjoy the concert as well. So on a whim, I just booked a single ticket for myself one fine afternoon. Husband suggested that I should check with some of my friends in Chennai who might be interested to join. I reached out to a few friends but no one was free to join (or as crazy a Rahmaniac like me!). The day dawned, we left from Bangalore early morning, reached Chennai around noon and headed straight to the venue to pick up my ticket. What a happy feeling it was! After having lunch at home, I relaxed for a bit and prepared my daughter that mommy would be gone for a few hours. I took an Uber, reached the venue by 5:30PM and took a proper seat with a good view in the Silver category. I'm not sure if I was the ONLY girl who wore FullyFilmy's Rahmaniac (since 1992) t-shirt ;-) There were many guys wearing the same t-shirts.

The next 90 minutes was a patient wait, admiring the setting sun and counting the number of airplanes flying above. The concert began with ThalaivARR's rocking entry. I let go of any inhibitions, screamed and hooted along with the crowd. Those 3 hours proved to be one of my most memorable fun evenings of my life. There was hardly any breathing space for the fans to recover 😉 The songs came one after another, a perfect mix of old and new. I didn't want to be distracted with my phone by recording the performances. So I planned to record the first 10-15 seconds of each song, keep the phone in my bag and sing along with the crowd.

Singappenne in ARR's voice was so uplifting and energizing. I got so excited when he sang Dil Se Re. It's one of my favorite songs in ARR's voice. Jonita Gandhi is clearly a multitalented performer - singing Jiya Jale and Kannaalane, dancing with such grace. The energy of Madhuraikku pogadhadi, Veerapaandi Kottayile and Top Tucker is so infectious that the crowd automatically danced and swayed. Then entered one of my favorite singers, Sid Sriram. Endhira logathu sundariye, Adiye and ofcourse, Thalli pogadhey - just amazing to hear him live.

The highlight of the evening was ARR's performance towards the end, singing Musthafa. I just can't put the feeling into words, so exhilarating! Instead of candles, it was our mobile phone torches that replicated the feel. Oh wow! I could feel the goosebumps even now as I type this out.

I didn't move an inch away from my chair in those 3 hours to buy food or water (glad I didn't contribute to the pile of disposable plastic waste). Music kept my soul happy and content. This day - I'll never forget in my life!

After returning home, my daughter was hooked onto those 15 second videos of the songs I had recorded. She has now added many of the songs to her playlist, with Kalla Kalavaani being her top favorite. Another Rahmaniac in the making! :-)

Book Review: Indistractable by Nir Eyal

2019 - the year where we have seen the release of two books that primarily talk about minimizing distractions. The ability to focus on work or pay attention to relationships without getting distracted is becoming such a challenge these days and I agree with these lines by Nir Eyal.

In the future, there will be two kinds of people in the world: those who let their attention and lives be controlled and coerced by others and those who proudly call themselves “indistractable.”

Early this year, Cal Newport's digital minimalism was launched and I loved it so much. Detailed review here.

A few years back, when I read Nir Eyal's Hooked, I learned about many key insights into human behavior that are being used as inputs into building habit forming products. If "Hooked" is a must-read for developers, designers and product managers building such products, "Indistractable" is for consumers using those products.

Through a 4-part framework, the author takes us on a journey to become indistractable. The following passage sums up this framework.

Imagine a line that represents the value of everything you do throughout your day. To the right, the actions are positive; to the left, they are negative. On the right side of the continuum is traction - actions that draw us toward what we want in life. On the left side is distraction, the opposite of traction. Distractions impede us from making progress toward the life we envision. All behaviors, whether they tend toward traction or distraction, are prompted by triggers, internal or external.

The biggest takeaway for me while reading this book was about how social media, smart phones, video games etc are the proximate causes of our distractions. The author shares several examples on how each new invention (be it print, newspaper, television, telephone etc) when it was launched was blamed for its distracting abilities. The bottom line is that we need to figure out the root cause of our addictions/distracted behaviors and implement strategies to manage potential distraction-causing triggers.

I loved the chapter on scheduling time for important relationships. We often tend to neglect (or even take for granted) the relationships where we need to invest our time and energy, without being distracted.

On dealing with external triggers,

"Is this trigger serving me or am I serving it?"

is such an important question to ask ourselves.

Many of the examples and case studies shared are easy to relate to, especially the author's role as a parent, his struggles to deal with distractions and get writing done. The solutions suggested are also quite simple and easy to implement for most of us. Apart from dealing with distractions on a personal level, the author also talks about workplace distractions - meetings, emails, Slack, content overload, social media and most importantly, managing expectations to be "online" during non-working hours. 

The chapter on raising indistractable children talks about the psychological needs. Overuse of technology is ONLY a symptom; we need to address the root cause. When kids' psychological needs are unmet, they go looking for virtual alternatives. Parents need to enable offline environments where children get to experience autonomy, competence and relatedness. As parents, we should model how to be indistractable ourselves.

My favorite passages from the book:

    Most people don’t want to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that distraction is always an unhealthy escape from reality. How we deal with uncomfortable internal triggers determines whether we pursue healthful acts of traction or self-defeating distractions.

Evolution favored dissatisfaction over contentment. Our tendencies toward boredom, negativity bias, rumination, and hedonic adaptation conspire to make sure we’re never satisfied for long.

Our technology gives us a way of being physically present but mentally absent; the uncomfortable truth is that we like to have our phones, tablets, and laptops in meetings not for the sake of productivity but for psychological escape. Meetings can be unbearably tense, socially awkward, and exceedingly boring—devices provide a way to manage our uncomfortable internal triggers.

 This tweet by BJ Fogg sets the tone for the future.

A company asked for my 2020 prediction. Here it is (please don't be offended):

A movement to be “post-digital” will emerge in 2020.

We will start to realize that being chained to your mobile phone is a low-status behavior, similar to smoking.

— BJ Fogg (@bjfogg) September 11, 2019

 "....we will start to realize that being chained to your mobile phone is a low status behavior, similar to smoking".

Nir Eyal's Indistractable provides us with actionable takeaways to manage our distractions and address the triggers that lead to distracting behaviors. An informative and relevant read for all.

P.S. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher. The review is my honest and unbiased feedback on the book.

Misleading claim on replacing rice with chapati

I came across this ad of Annapurna Atta with the claim "Replace rice with chapati and lose upto 2 kgs in 3 months." I know many South Indians who have switched to wheat and diligently eat chapathis every night, hoping it would help in weight loss and deal with other lifestyle disorders. Some even have chapathis for breakfast too. You step into a South Indian restaurant in Chennai, hoping to relish a proper banana leaf meal. What's the first thing they serve? 2 chapathis / 3 pooris and only after that, they serve rice. I firmly ask, "chapathis vendaam. rice podunga". Not that I don't like chapathis but I don't see the need for it in a typical Tamil lunch menu.

This idea "wheat is better than rice" is a false claim, being propagated by packaged atta brands.

Let's come to this brand. In fine print, they try to justify their claim. 

Many factors affect weight management and individual weight loss results will vary. To be consumed as part of a balanced diet and active lifestyle. Based on analytical studies, Annapurna atta has 3 times more dietary fibre than commonly consumed variety of rice (Sona Masuri and Ponni).

Replacing 1 bowl of rice (300 g of cooked rice / 100g of uncooked rice) with 3 chapatis (made from 75g wheat flour, without oil) in 2 meals per day for a duration of 3 months causes a calorie deficit (179kCal per day) enough to obtain upto 2 kg of weight loss.

 Let's dissect this paragraph

- Wholewheat flour has more fibre than white polished rice, fair enough BUT nobody eats ONLY a bowl of white rice OR ONLY chapathis. The vegetables/dals increase the total fibre of a meal and so that needs to be taken into account.
- The brand recommends replacing 100g of uncooked white rice with 75g of wheat flour. I checked the quantity that we normally consume in a meal. Yes, when I make chapatis, I use around 75g of wholewheat flour per person BUT when I make rice, it is certainly not 100g of rice per person per meal. I use around 60-70g. Please do check how much quantity of white rice do you eat in a meal. The 100g mentioned in this ad seems too steep.
- The whole comparison relies on calorie deficit. Just replacing white rice with wheat isn't enough, one has to maintain an overall calorie deficit of 179kCal per day (for 3 months) to achieve the 2 kg weight loss.

There are plenty of indigenous rice varieties that are high in fibre, various vitamins and minerals. The glycemic index of such rice varieties is lower as compared to white rice. Given the high amounts of fibre and the fact they are unpolished/semi-polished, they give satiety, we don't end up eating more quantity of rice. My suggestion would be to not fall for such "wheat is better than rice" claims OR that wheat helps in weight loss. If that was the case, we wouldn't be seeing such high obesity rates in Punjab.