Aug 4, 2022

Movie Review - 19(1)(a)

 Recently, watched a beautiful Malayalam movie "19(1)(a)", with the main protagonists played by two of my favorite actors- Nithya Menon and Vijay Sethupathi.

Realistic portrayal, good screenplay, beautiful Kerala locales, and more importantly, impactful writing that leaves a mark after the movie ends.

I could resonate with both the characters and their opposite nature, more so with Nithya's.

In one of the scenes, she says, "I have always done what others expect of me". Story of my life until my early 30s.

The rebellious nature kicked in ONLY after motherhood.

The extended family kept asking, "When is the good news? When are you starting a family? All your younger cousins have given birth. Why are you delaying pregnancy?". And when I did give the good news, the same extended family didn't offer any support and went about their own lives.

That's when the rebel in me came alive. And I started to take charge of my life in ways that suit me and my priorities.

We all have the rebel inside, kept hidden. All we need is a little courage - either from a life situation or from a completely unrelated external person, just like how the nameless female character found her courage from Gauri's words.

Do give the movie a watch on Disney+Hotstar, for the sheer storytelling and brilliant acting by two best actors.

No unnecessary dramas, romance, fights, mass dialogues or punch lines.

Aug 3, 2022

How to influence family members

Imagine this:

You have started to make healthier food choices, but your spouse hasn't come on board.

You have been following a consistent exercise routine, but others in the family continue their sedentary lifestyles.

You have prioritized sleep and follow a strict "no-devices-after-9PM" rule, but others binge-watch Netflix until 1 AM.

It gets frustrating when we go through these experiences. I often go through such emotions and react instantly, but over time, I have realized the following:

  • The reason behind such frustrations is due to the expectation we have of others. Years back, when I went for an AOL program, I learned this valuable insight - "Expectations reduce joy, surprises enhance joy". If we deeply analyze our emotions, there is always an underlying expectation that leads to suffering. In this case, the expectation is that other family members should start taking responsibility for their health.
  • Everyone goes through a wellness journey. The starting points of this journey will be different. It is unlikely that our journeys will be synced with our spouses. We can't coerce them into starting this journey through logic, explanation, or fear. The motivation has to come from within.
  • Until then, all we can do is have complete trust in the Universe and believe that our loved ones will also begin their journey soon.

I heard this phrase in a workshop - to influence others, just focus on your journey. This argument has merit - we cannot change anyone else, but ourselves and our behaviors. But will this eventually lead to influencing family members?

As I pondered deeper, I arrived at this conclusion.

Each of us acts as a transmitter of energy based on our thoughts and actions. When we make healthy choices, such actions emit energy into our external environment. These can ONLY influence others when their RECEIVERS are switched ON and tuned to receive our energy frequency.

That's precisely why I believe it is easier to influence young children, with our lifestyle choices. Their receivers are always ready to receive the energies from others at home.

But for adults (spouse, parents, in-laws, etc), their receivers might either be tuned to other frequencies or might be too distracted to receive our energies.

When will their receivers be ready? When they understand their NEEDs - the need for wellbeing, need for ease, and need for peace.

Aug 1, 2022

Do I remember everything I read?

 "Do you remember everything you read?", someone had posed this question.

Short answer - Not at all 🙂

Long answer - my intention to read books is not to remember every single point or insight. I'm not reading for the sake of any competitive exams🙂 Thank God, those days are behind me. I now read because I love reading.

When I read, I highlight all sentences/phrases/passages that struck a chord with me. Writing book reviews help me summarize my takeaways, which I revisit whenever needed.

If I need to reference a particular topic at a later point in time, I know exactly which book I need to check and I look it up immediately. I have a copy of all books that I have read and found valuable - either as a physical copy or on Kindle. I'm very particular about not lending my books🙂

Books aren't just sources of information or facts.

Imagine your brain/mind as a huge palace with infinite rooms that are locked. Any new insight that we come across is a Key to opening a room. For me, books are those valuable keys.

Keys could also be conversations with people, taking up new courses, watching informative videos, listening to podcasts, etc. No key is superior or inferior. They open new rooms which we didn't know existed in our minds.

As we unlock new rooms, more ideas, insights, and possibilities come into our vision. We also arrive at a certain direction to take as we navigate through the maze of rooms.

While we progress in this journey of unlocking, we also realize that certain rooms get unlocked automatically without the need for an external key. These are our experiences, self-realizations, intuitions, and surprise gifts from the Universe.

Choose your keys according to your preference. And enjoy this beautiful unlocking journey. You never know what you might stumble across!

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