Me-time

What is me-time? This is a question I'm pondering about. 

These are the activities I earlier considered as me-time:

reading, browsing my phone (Instagram, Youtube), browsing my laptop (articles, blogs), watching movies.

I've started to take a different perspective these days.

Me-time is when I'm with myself and my thoughts without any distractions.

All the activities I had listed above are not really my thoughts. I'm investing my time and energy in the thoughts of others in the form of books, movies and social media updates. These are filtered information that is being shared. There are quite a few insights that I have gleaned from these sources over the years. But only when I started incorporating those insights in my life, I learned more about what works and what doesn't work for my situation.

Learning from others doesn't give a complete picture of the context. What we see/hear/read is only the final outcome that a person shares on any platform. This blogpost is a filtered output of my thoughts on how I have started to interpret me-time.

Let's take social media as an example - we only share what we want others to see. We don't share a complete view of us - the good, the bad and the ugly. Firstly, it is humanly impossible to share each and everything that happens in our day-to-day lives. Even if we roam around with a camera on hand all the time, we filter and show only the parts of our day which we feel like sharing.

When we see a post, our mind immediately creates a perception of the person sharing that post. These perceptions are shortcuts that our mind creates to categorize people. This happens subconsciously based on our beliefs, the environment we grew up in and many other factors.

These mental shortcuts are useful for us to foresee any danger and be prepared to fight/flight. But they can also mislead us and we might end up forming false perceptions of a person. "Don't judge a book by its cover" equivalent of "Don't judge a person based on what he/she shares on social media", if I may say so.

Recently, I had assumed something about a person based on what she shared on her social media feed but later when I realized the assumption was wrong, I felt a tinge of disappointment.

My point is that we try to grab our "me-time" from our loved ones, in order to scroll through our phones and absorb these false perceptions created on social media. Same goes with youtube channels where many people show their perfectly crafted lives in the form of vlogs but the reality is totally different. 

Yes, we can take inspiration from many people but a mere collection of ideas will not take us anywhere. As I reflect deeper, the books I love the most are those from which I have been able to incorporate certain ideas into my work or personal life. 

I'm trying to be more mindful and conscious of my "content consumption" these days. I have started to ask myself the following questions:

How much time I'm spending on consumption?

What is the quality of the content I'm consuming? Is it worth my time?

How much is the quantity of the content I'm consuming? Is it worth the context switch I'm experiencing, consuming on a wide range of topics?

How do I feel after consuming the content? Is it triggering or influencing my emotions in any way?

What are the learnings/takeaways from the content consumed? How do I plan to apply the same?

As I'm reducing my content consumption patterns, I'm also trying to grab me-time opportunities where I'm with my thoughts completely. An important idea I learned in my minimalism workshop with Durgesh Nandhini is this - "Chores are a form of meditation with eyes open". This statement was an eye-opener. Though I never detested doing chores at home, I never thought of it from this perspective.

Thanks to lockdown, I'm more engaged in household chores for which I had a house-help earlier. I'm also now making sure that I don't multitask while doing chores. I used to proclaim, "multitasking is my strength" but I now seek out opportunities to focus completely on a single task at hand without any distractions.

My me-time is now shifted to the following activities:

• Cooking
• Washing dishes
• Sweeping and mopping
• Folding clothes
• Journaling
• Meditation
• Yoga and Pranayama
• Walking (no step counters, no music, no podcasts, no audiobooks)
• Sitting quietly without doing anything - toughest one but I'm trying 🙂

What is me-time according to you?

P.S. The structure of this blog post came to me while washing dishes last evening :-)

Birthday cake

 

 

For the past few months, whenever I attend a birthday party or see pictures of a birthday party, I ask myself, "Why do we need a birthday cake?" The immediate answer that comes to my mind is "Duh, that's how people celebrate birthdays all over the world".

I haven't researched the history behind birthday cakes but as I look back, my brother and I never had a birthday cake during our childhood. Our parents used to buy us a new birthday dress every year. We would wear it to school and distribute chocolates to our classmates. We would take blessings from grandparents and they would give us a small token of money as a gift. Our grandmother would make payasam (kheer) on our star birthday date (which would mostly be a different date than the English calendar date). That's the ritual for kids' birthdays up to the age of 10-11 years. Our parents never celebrated their birthdays. I don't think it is due to financial constraints but more about the mindset. When we ask why they don't celebrate their birthdays, Appa would just say, "ezhu kazhudai vayasaachu, inime enna birthday celebration!" (We are old enough that we don't need any celebration for our birthday).

These days, every family who can afford a birthday cake buys one for each family member, irrespective of age. Children enjoy the cake whereas adults eat with a lot of guilt and apprehension - "Let me just take a small slice", we tell the host. Most bakeries and home bakers take birthday cake order of 1/2 kg minimum, which is quite a large quantity for a small family of 3-4. We might end up either overeating, distribute to a few others or end up throwing the remaining cake. The bigger the cake, the larger the wastage. For most birthday parties, people end up ordering large size of cake with sugar-loaded fondant or rich icing, decorated with artificial colors. Again, a big portion ends up in the trash can. That scene from the first story of "sillu karupatti" is heart-wrenching, where the kids scour through trash in a landfill to find fondant of an Elsa doll on a birthday cake. 

A few days back, my husband K decided to bake a chocolate cake. While he was getting the ingredients ready, he screamed out loud, "How much sugar and butter go into this! I didn't realize it this long". The same realization happened with me when I started baking in 2014. The amount of sugar, refined oil and maida that goes into baking a cake is just unbelievable. I try and substitute with slightly healthier options - 50:50 wholewheat flour and maida, jaggery or cane sugar in place of white sugar on the rare occasions I bake at home. But most of the commercial bakeries don't choose healthier ingredients. With home bakers, unless we specifically ask them to make a healthier version, they would also use the same maida, sugar and oil combination.

One might argue, "It is just a once-a-year event. Why fuss over so much?". Let me break the harsh truth - Even if we have reached ezhu kazhudai vayasu (adulthood), birthday cakes are being bought for us. So for a family of 4, there are 4 birthday cakes in a year. Add a wedding anniversary cake and a couple of other celebrations like New Year, Valentine's day etc. Not to forget the umpteen birthday parties in the apartment community, office birthday parties, school friends' parties etc. No wonder, birthday cake bakers are raking in the moolah while we keep wondering how our HbA1C levels are climbing. 

For the past two years, I asked my husband not to buy me a cake on my birthday. I'd rather enjoy a small bowl of paruppu payasam with jaggery on my special day than eat junk. 

Why treat our bodies with junk on our special day? Is this how we want to celebrate?

That brings me to the next question.

"Why do we even celebrate our birthdays?" 

Celebrations are a good opportunity to spend time with loved ones, feel special and be treated extra special. It is a perfect day to create good memories.

But can't we celebrate our lives on a daily basis? Why wait for that ONE special day? Why can't we feel special every single day?

It is okay if you disagree with this post. I'm just sharing my thoughts here. Let's not argue over it.

The one thing that has struck me from Durgesh Nandhini's minimalism workshop is "Question everything". I question the need for a birthday cake through this post. Recently, she posted a picture of her daughter's birthday cake made with fruits. How beautiful is that cake! Layers of watermelon surrounded by grapes and banana slices. Just amazing! Maathi yosikkalaame !! (Let's think differently)

How to sustain motivation?

 

I was talking to a startup founder a couple of weeks back and one of our common interest areas was "health and wellness". He brought up an interesting point, "I believe the key problem to address in this space is the lack of sustained motivation". 

I have been mulling over this phrase - sustained motivation and started observing myself to understand this phrase in depth. 

This morning, I rolled my Yoga mat to start my morning practice. The next one hour felt so blissful as I stretched and pushed myself. I wouldn't have done this self-practice a couple of years back but now it has become a habit every morning, especially since the lockdown in March.

What has changed in order to feel this motivation and sustain it for a period of time? I think it boils down to these 4 reasons:

Intrinsic desire:

I have started telling myself, "I want to do Yoga". The statement is no longer "I have to do Yoga". This simple change in the conversation we have with ourselves makes a world of difference. We need to feel that want, that desire in order to pursue a goal.

Tiny wins:

While going for my classes, I used to set tiny goals for myself - hold a particular asana for at least 7 counts, hold the plank for at least 15 counts etc. I'm continuing the same habit while doing self-practice these days. Recognizing and appreciating tiny wins matter. Let's not link success with big outcomes like losing 10 kgs in a month OR doing shirsasana as soon as we enroll for Yoga. Knowing our current potential, setting tiny challenges to improve ourselves and valuing these tiny wins is the way to sustain motivation in the long run. 

Results and process:

Since I have been practicing Yoga for nearly 5 years, I have realized the tremendous benefits it has brought in me, both in my body as well as mind. Let me admit - results do motivate me quite a bit. Having brought up in a society that values achievement and accomplishment, I'm not gonna feel bad for saying that out aloud. I have also realized that until I enjoy the process, I don't see myself pushing towards the intended results. The process needs to be fun and joyful in order to feel motivated. For any wellness related effort, after a time period of 3-6 months, our body starts to respond beautifully. Enjoying the process for those 3-6 months is essential for us to start noticing the intended results.

Influence of our family/society:

It is quite upsetting to see the health ailments that my family elders deal with - diabetes, blood pressure, arthritis, obesity etc. I don't want to get into the trap of lifestyle diseases and the numerous medications (and their side effects). It is not about anxiety or worry but more about understanding my priorities that prevention is better than cure. I visualize myself to be a fit and active person in my 60s and 70s. 

What motivates you to sustain your effort for a longer period of time? Share in the comments.

Plant based sources of Selenium

Trace minerals are required in very little quantities but they play a vital role across multiple functions in our body. The nine trace minerals are chromium, copper, fluoride, iodine, iron, manganese, molybdenum, selenium, and zinc. Yes, iron is a trace mineral too.

I had earlier shared the plant-based sources of iron and zinc. 

In this post, let's focus on Selenium as it seems to be getting a lot of attention these days, specifically with respect to immunity. 

Selenium is a powerful antioxidant, protecting against oxidative stress. It plays a vital role in our heart and thyroid functions. It helps to reduce insulin resistance, which makes it an important nutrient for diabetics. It also helps to reduce inflammation in the body.

The intention of this post is NOT to elaborate on the benefits of selenium. You can get the information easily from a Google search. Most of the material available on Youtube/Google search talk about selenium-rich foods either not local to India OR predominantly meat-based sources. 

All I wanted to share through this post is the list of plant-based sources of selenium compiled from IFCT-2017.

According to the note shared by FSSAI, the RDA for Selenium is 40 mcg per day. Many of the US-based health institutions have specified an RDA of 55 mcg per day.

Here's the list of plant-based sources of Selenium:

	Selenium (microgm per 100 gms)
Cereals
Wheat flour, atta	53.12
Samai	40.4
Bajra	30.4
Jowar	26.3
Pulses
Bengal gram, dal	51
Green gram, dal	50
Peas, dry	50
Lentil dal (Masoor dal)	49.5
Bengal gram, whole	41
Horsegram	29.5
Black gram, whole	27.98
Cowpea, white	26.55
Green leafy veg
Beet greens	47.75
Radish leaves	33.05
Agathi leaves	30.7
Amaranth leaves, red	22.55
Curry leaves	17.25
Mint leaves	10.79
Vegetables
Broadbeans	9
Tomato, green	8.25
Onion, stalk	5.22
Lotus root	4.61
Fruits
Papaya	12.78
Condiments & Spices
Omum (Ajwain)	87.04
Mustard seeds	71.47
Pippali (long pepper)	20.5
Nuts and Seeds
Niger seeds, grey	154
Garden cress seeds	54.41
Gingelly seeds, brown	52.64
Flaxseeds	47
Niger seeds, black	39
Dry coconut	25.25

Wheat is a rich source of selenium. So are the local millets - little millet (saamai), pearl millet (bajra) and sorghum (jowar).

Most of the lentils and pulses that are commonly available in India are excellent sources of selenium.

Beet greens and radish greens are good sources of selenium but we hardly get these veggies along with their greens in urban areas. 

There are very few vegetables and fruits (except papaya) that contain selenium. 

Commonly used seeds like sesame seeds and flaxseeds are decent sources of selenium. The other not-so-common seeds such as niger seeds (gurellu / uchellu in Kannada) and garden cress seeds (halim seeds) are good sources, with garden cress seeds being rich in iron as well.

As you can see, it is possible to meet our daily requirement of selenium by including a combination of millets and pulses in our daily diet. Let's not evaluate a food item solely based on whether it contains "carbs" or not. There are high chances we would end up with micronutrient deficiencies with such a mindset.

எலி ஓட்டம் (Rat race)

எப்பொழுது தொடங்கியது

இந்த முடிவில்லா ஓட்டம்

கல்லூரிப் படிப்பில் சேர்ந்த பிறகா

வேலைக்கு சேர்ந்த பிறகா

சிறிது நேரம் அமர்ந்து

யோசித்த வேளையில் 

அந்த நொடிகள் 

ஆர்ப்பரித்தன கண்களில் 

முதல் மதிப்பெண் எடு

என்ற அம்மாவின் அறிவுரை

பனிரெண்டாம் வகுப்பில்

நன்மதிப்பை பெரு 

உன் வாழ்க்கை

சிறந்து விளங்கும் என்றனர்

பொறியியல் படிப்பை 

தேர்ந்தெடு 

உன் எதிர்காலம்

பிரகாசமானதாகிவிடும் என்றனர்

நல்ல வேலையில் 

சேர்ந்து விடு

உன் வாழ்க்கை

கனிந்து விடும் என்றனர்

மேலாளர் பதவியை

அடைந்து விடு

உன் பொருளாதாரம்

சிறந்து விளங்கும் என்றனர்

இருபதுகள் கடந்தன

இவை அனைத்தும் 

செய்து முடிக்க

மறு பேச்சு பேசாமல்

இளைப்பாற நேரம் இல்லாமல்

சமூக எதிர்ப்பார்ப்புகளை

நிவர்த்தி செய்ய

முப்பதுகளில் காலடி

எடுத்து வைத்தேன்

இன்னும் வேகமாய் ஒடு

இன்னும் சிறப்பை தேடு

என்ற அறைகூவல்கள்

மடியில் என் குட்டி தேவதை

என்னை மீட்க அவதரித்தாள்

வேகத்தை குறைத்தேன்

நிமிடங்களை சேகரிக்க தொடங்கினேன் 

என்னை தேட துவங்கினேன்

என் தனி தன்மையை அறிந்தேன்

சமூகம் மதிக்கும் வெற்றி இலக்கை

நோக்கி ஓடாமல்

என் இதயம்  துடிக்கும் பாதை

தேடி மெல்ல நகர்கின்றேன்