Polarized Views

 There is a tug-of-war happening big time on social media and all mass media platforms. This war is called "polarized views". If you aren't strong enough, any side can easily pull you and convince you to accept and follow their polarized viewpoints.

I see this happening virtually in all aspects of life. A few examples from the domains I keep track of:

Vegan OR Keto

Naturopathy OR modern medicine

V@ccine OR No V@ccine

Homeschooling OR International School + All possible extracurricular classes

Home-made foods from scratch OR Eat packaged foods

Traditional OR Modern Values

No Fridge OR Frozen meals for months

No Screen time for kids OR Full-on screen mode filled with educational apps and games

Completely organic food OR food from a factory/large-scale manufacturing unit

Is it because we spend too much time with devices and gadgets that there is now an alarming trend of viewing the world in binaries? Computers can understand only 1s and 0s, whereas we humans are smarter than that, aren't we? We can decipher the grey shades in between. 

We are blessed with Viveka, the discriminatory ability to analyze the options in front of us. In Kali Yuga, the good and bad are so strongly intertwined into one that it is hard to decipher the real nature.

Instead of viewing the world in binaries, let's look at it as a range or a spectrum.

Every option on either side has pros and cons. It also heavily depends on one's situation, environment, family beliefs, and availability of resources (time, money, effort, energy). 

Please note, that the fear and guilt of having chosen one side (in the past) OR the anxiety of choosing a side (without comprehending the repercussions in the future) creates more mental agony and distress than the actual choice itself.

Let's understand both ends of the spectrum and choose a point on it that works for us (as an individual and as a family). Accept the choice and trust in the Universe that things will work out well.

The unnecessary fear, panic, or lackadaisical attitude that are being perpetuated by these extreme influencers on both sides will only end up adding to the mental health-related issues that are already on the rise. These also contribute to relationship issues because of conflicting ideas within the family.

Are we allowing our intellect to override our innate intelligence?

We visited a petting park in Yelagiri last weekend. There was a fenced area, inside which were two big goats lying down relaxed. As we walked towards this place, we noticed two cute baby goats happily grazing outside. The mommy goat noticed us (Me and D) walking towards her babies. She lifted her neck and started making loud sounds. Soon she noticed K who was behind us. She got even more cautious. She stood firmly and made warning sounds that we interpreted as "Hey you! Don't you dare come near my babies!!". 

We didn't touch her babies or try to hold them but the fact that we were coming near them made the mommy instinctively become very alert. The babies found a small gap in the fence and they went back to their mommy. She then gave them an earful for roaming freely (or that's what we understood seeing her reaction!! ) 😁😁😁

We have observed the same behavior with the mommy of our kitty babies 3 years back. She would let us lift her infants but she would be restless and ask us to put them back in the cardboard box. The instinctive nature of caring for and protecting their babies is deeply rooted in all parents, especially mothers.

But in the past few decades, it seems like many of us (humans) have lost touch with this instinctive nature. As I reflected on why this has happened, multiple thoughts surfaced.

1. Lack of awareness or knowledge in raising a child which leads to a lot of self-doubt
2. Lack of support from extended family
3. Even if help is available, it becomes more of an ego battle to prove who is right
4. Circumstances and situations in the initial years are being used to put down or find fault in the new mother's abilities - be it mom, dad, FIL, or MIL
5. A lot of distractions that mask the intuitive ability
6. Too many responsibilities on a mom's shoulders
7. The new mom wants to prove herself as a "super-mom" capable of doing everything and taking undue stress
8. Traditional wisdom is either being diluted or ignored
9. Too many conflicting ideas from social media and parenting influencers cause even more confusion, leading to insecurity

In Panchakosha Viveka as part of Taittiriya Upanishad, it is mentioned that our body is made up of five sheaths or layers. Do google it if you are interested in learning in detail. It is such a fascinating topic.

The layers of Manomaya (mind), Pranamaya (energy), and Annamaya (physical body) primarily operate through our innate intelligence (intuition, instinct, gut feel)

The layer "Vijnanamaya" is the intellectual intelligence that gives us the discerning ability and the nature to be self-aware.

As we start relying more and more on our Vijnanamaya, we are losing touch with our innate intelligence. How else could we explain the trend of asking a random health influencer - 

How much water should I drink?

How many calories should I need to consume?

Should I eat food when I'm hungry or when it is time to eat?

Our Manomaya is being subjected to so many thoughts and stressors day in and day out. This also has an impact on our Vijnanamaya. Our discerning ability and decision-making get impacted as Vijnanamaya gets weakened. When our Vijnanamaya is weak, we end up relying on the intellect of the self-declared experts.

Be it parenting, physical health, mental health, or our life choices, both Vijnanamaya and Manomaya play such a vital role. 

They are connected in a vicious cycle - if one gets impaired, the other gets impaired too.

They are also connected in a virtuous cycle - if one gets strengthened, the other gets strengthened too.

Will share more on the practices that would help strengthen each of these layers.

Stepping out of our comfort zones

This conversation happened a few weeks back.

D: Why don't you read fiction books, mummy? You are always reading serious books.

Me: I generally don't like to read fiction.

D: Whyyyy?

Me: My mom told me many times when I was a child that reading story books is a waste of time. She would only buy me General knowledge books. I never read any storybooks during childhood, except for a few Tinkle comics that I would buy at the railway station while going on trips. 

D: If she was alive, I could have explained to her why reading story books is so good. You can connect with the characters, you can feel happy or sad with them. There is suspense. You will also laugh at the jokes.

Me: I experienced it when I read Harry Potter, Ruskin Bond books, and a few others in my 20s. But my mind automatically gravitates towards non-fiction.

She came back after a few hours, holding the Kindle in her hands.

D: Let us do one thing. You always tell me to try reading more text-based books instead of comics or picture books. I'll read a text-based book of your choice and you read a fiction book that I choose. Let's call it our book reading session and we will read together every night for half an hour.

Me: Okay, let's try it!

We do these book reading sessions 3-4 times a week. We both tried new genres in these sessions.

She gave me Tiffany Nicole Smith's story books to read - The Bex Carter Dramedies series and Ava G Chronicles. I did enjoy reading them - quite a bit of teen drama on friendships and high school stuff. They remind me of the series "Never Have I Ever" on Netflix which I liked.

I gave her "Gita for Children" by Roopa Pai. After finishing it, she picked up "Ayurveda" by Vasant Lad (she is very much interested in the tridosha concept) and followed it up with "Gut" by Giulia Enders (some of the illustrations and diagrams in this book are quite hilarious!). 

During these book reading sessions, I don't ask any questions on whether she can understand or comprehend the topic of the book and the concepts being discussed. If she has doubts regarding certain words that are new to her, I explain the meaning. Interest and curiosity are all that matter. Whatever she can grasp for her age, vocabulary, and comprehension abilities are more than sufficient for now.

What's important is that I stepped out of my comfort zone to read fiction, while she stepped out of her comfort zone to read non-fiction.

Three observations from this experience:

(1) A deep-rooted conditioning from our parents can be reset by our kids if we allow ourselves to say "Yes" to new experiences.

(2) Parents may have strong opinions on certain aspects that influence the behavior and choices of a child, even after he/she turns into an adult.

(3) As parents, we are making important decisions on behalf of a young child. Though our intentions might be good, it is worth contemplating the impact we end up creating if we view the world in binaries (eg: GK books are good/story books are bad). It is better to seek a middle ground that allows scope for exploration. 

Why I don't create Vision Boards

 Have you ever prepared a vision board - the one where we paste colorful pictures, motivational quotes, and stickers that represent your wishes, desires, and goals for the future?

I have made a couple of them in the past but not with conviction. I don't believe in the idea of creating vision boards.  When I researched the origins of vision boards, I learned that they became popular around the time the book "The Secret" was released in 2006.

I see 3 problems with vision boards.

1. As we prepare a vision board, the focus is exclusively on the material desires and goals. There is no thought (or a placeholder on the vision board) being given to the principles, ethics, and values that we would uphold as we pursue these goals.

2. Creating the board indicates a target towards the end goal but what about the journey to get to the goal? How do we enjoy the journey? How do we overcome the obstacles on the way? None of that is being documented on the board. A few motivational quotes and stickers added aren't going to make much of a difference.

3. When you add a self-improvement goal to the vision board, say if your goal is weight loss, you would most likely end up adding a picture of a healthy and fit person on your vision board. The intention is that this picture would motivate you to work out, eat mindfully, etc but there is a flip side. Every time, you look at the picture of this fit person, there is a lack of self-acceptance and guilt. There is a lack of acceptance of the Now - the present moment with a certain functioning body. This lack of acceptance creates a sense of guilt and shame. It is like a mirror someone holds in front of you, that always shows the gap between who you are and where you ought to be.

Instead of end goals, I prefer to focus on my daily habits and schedules and I keep tweaking and modifying them in a way such that they help me to make the best out of every day.

What are your experiences or perspectives on vision boards? How have they helped you? Do share in the comments.

Book Review: Timeless Gita, Endless Bliss - Volume 1 by B Mahadevan

 In Dec 2023, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend the Gita Parayanam event organized by my IIMB Professor Shri. B Mahadevan as part of the Gita Jayanti event. Though I knew only a few Gita shlokas, I participated along with the crowd and chanted the entire Gita. The energy of the event felt so divine and blissful. As a Yajna Prasada, all participants got a copy of his book that was launched on the very same day - "Timeless Gita, Endless Bliss - Vol 2".

K had bought and read the first volume many years back. It was now my turn to pick it up.

Having read many self-help and philosophy books written by new-age authors in the past few years, the realization dawned on me that this one single book called Shrimad Bhagavad Gita is enough as a life manual to answer all our questions on life and how to approach various challenges and obstacles that we might encounter.

Professor Mahadevan's book - Timeless Gita, Endless Bliss is an interesting teaser that provides a captivating glimpse of what one can receive from the sacred text. Volume 1 is all about the individual and one's approach to work and life.

It is divided into four logical sections - Managing oneself, Building Life Skills, Our approach to work, and Larger Meaning of Life. Most of the Shlokas that are used as the foundation to explain the different aspects of these four sections are drawn from the 2nd and 3rd chapters.

For each topic, he first sets the relevance and the present-day context. He then brings up the relevant Shloka in Sanskrit (along with English text) and breaks it down to give a layman's understanding.

The section on Life Skills has valuable takeaways on sustained commitment, coping with changes, reacting to outcomes, and developing a steady mind.

There are quite a few management and organization-related challenges that are addressed in the context of the workplace. This is very much needed to look for time-tested solutions on the topics of change management, organizational excellence, sustainability, and a dharmic way of living.

Anyone who reads the book will feel motivated to go deeper into the wisdom shared by Bhagavan Krishna through Gita. It is a life-long pursuit and this book can give that initial impetus to undertake this pursuit.